Motherhood often feels like a constant juggling act—balancing the needs of your family, your faith, and your own heart. Amid the daily messes, sleepless nights, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to find peace and purpose. But what if you could approach these challenges with the grace, trust, and inner strength that Mary exemplified?

There is a way to navigate the chaos with greater peace and purpose by embracing mindset work—intentionally aligning your thoughts with God’s truth, cultivating virtue, and drawing inspiration from Mary’s unwavering trust in Him.

What Is the Marian Mindset Model?

The modern language we have for mindset typically stems from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which was developed by Dr. Aaron Beck in the 1960s. It revolutionized the psychology school of thought and the world by demonstrating how our thoughts influence our emotions and actions. Over time, CBT has become one of the most widely practiced and scientifically validated approaches in modern mental health care. But the idea of examining and redirecting our thoughts has deep roots in Christian tradition. For centuries, the Church Fathers, Scripture, and saints have emphasized the importance of "taking every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and renewing our minds (Romans 12:2).

The Marian Mindset Model draws from this rich spiritual tradition while integrating helpful tools from modern psychology to help Catholic moms align their thoughts, feelings, and actions with God’s truth. Rooted in Sacred Scripture and inspired by the example of Mary and the saints, this model provides a practical way to deepen your interior life, grow in virtue, and embrace your vocation with greater peace and purpose.

Using scientific insights of CBT and reconnecting them with the timeless wisdom of Catholic theology, the Marian Mindset method unites mind, body, and spirit in a way that transforms how we approach our daily lives. In this journal entry, we’ll explore how to reflect on your thoughts, recognize their impact on your emotions and actions, and intentionally center your mindset on God’s truth. By following Mary’s example of trust, humility, and surrender, you can transform your interior life and embrace your vocation with confidence and grace.

Great, so what does the CBT approach teach us? The model–popularized by the Life Coach School–goes like this:

Circumstances → Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Results

This framework helps you recognize how your mindset influences your daily life. Let’s break it down step by step:

Circumstances: Neutral Facts of Life

Circumstances are the facts of your life that are outside your control. They’re measurable, neutral, and free of judgment. For example:

Your toddler spilled juice on the couch.
You didn’t sleep more than four hours last night.
You’re behind on laundry.

These are not inherently good or bad—they simply are. What makes them feel overwhelming, frustrating, or even devastating are the thoughts we attach to them. In Mary’s life, her circumstances were more extraordinary than most: the angel Gabriel announced she would bear the Son of God; she gave birth in a stable; she fled to Egypt as a refugee. Yet, Mary responded with trust, not panic, because her mindset was anchored in God’s promises. Like Mary, we can’t control our circumstances, but we can choose how to respond. Which leads us to…

Thoughts are the stories we tell ourselves about our circumstances. They’re the lens through which we interpret what’s happening in our lives. For example:

Circumstance: Your toddler spills juice.
Thought: I can’t handle one more mess today.
Circumstance: You didn’t sleep last night.
Thought: I’m failing as a mom because I’m exhausted.

Mary’s example teaches us to take our thoughts captive and align them with God’s truth. In her Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55), she praises God despite the unknowns and challenges ahead. Instead of focusing on fear or doubt, Mary chooses thoughts rooted in faith and trust. And we can start doing so as well.

By intentionally examining our thoughts and bringing them into alignment with God’s promises, we can shift how we experience our circumstances and our lives. This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending struggles don’t exist—it means choosing to see them through the lens of faith, trusting that God is present and working all things for good (Romans 8:28). Like Mary, we can replace thoughts of frustration or defeat with ones of hope and surrender, allowing us to respond to life’s messiness with a spirit of peace and purpose.

Thoughts: Where It All Begins

Feelings: The Fruit of Our Thoughts

Feelings are the emotions that flow from your thoughts. They’re not random; they’re directly tied to how you interpret your circumstances. For example:

Thought: I can’t handle one more mess today.
Feeling: Overwhelm.
Thought: I’m failing as a mom because I’m exhausted.
Feeling: Shame.

Feelings aren’t inherently sinful—they’re like signals on a dashboard, alerting us to what we’re focusing on and where our hearts are inclined. And Mary gives us the ultimate example of how to anchor our emotions in God’s truth and the reality of His unending love and care for us. Take a second and think about the rollercoaster of emotions she might have experienced as a young woman chosen to bear the Son of God, giving birth in a stable, fleeing to Egypt, or looking up at her beloved son on the cross. Fear, uncertainty, and sorrow would’ve been natural responses. Yet, because Mary’s thoughts were grounded in trust and faith, she could shift toward peace and surrender instead of panic or despair.

Her example reminds us that by choosing thoughts that align with God’s design, we can cultivate feelings of peace, hope, and gratitude even in the face of life’s messiness. That means even when we haven’t slept, are at our wit’s end with our kids’ discipline, or just really need the tiny humans to stop touching us, we can direct our thoughts to shape how we feel. That doesn’t mean we have to shove our feelings down, it means we acknowledge them, but don’t let them dictate our actions or define our day. Mary didn’t suppress her emotions; rather, she cultivated thoughts rooted in prayer and trust in God’s providence, enabling her to embrace her vocation with grace. We can follow her lead by reflecting on our thoughts and intentionally aligning them with the truth of God’s love and care.

Actions: What You Do (or Don’t Do)

Actions are the choices we make in response to our feelings. They include what we do, don’t do, or react to. For example:

Feeling: Overwhelmed.
Action: You snap at your child or avoid cleaning the mess.
Feeling: Shame.
Action: You withdraw or criticize yourself harshly.

Mary’s actions were guided by her faith. She visited Elizabeth to support her, cared for Jesus with tenderness, and stood at the foot of the Cross in silent strength. Her actions flowed from her trust in God, showing us how to order and align our choices with His will. She didn’t let fear or uncertainty paralyze her but chose to act with courage, humility, and love. For us, this means pausing to reflect on how our actions reflect our faith, even in small, everyday moments. Are we responding to our children with patience, even when it’s hard? Are we choosing forgiveness over resentment or service over self-interest? By intentionally focusing on our thoughts and letting those guide our actions, we can take steps—no matter how small—that bring us closer to the life He calls us to live.

Results: The Fruit of Your Actions

Results are the outcomes of your actions, inactions, or reactions. They’re the ripple effects of your mindset. For example:
Action: Snapping at your child.
Result: Strained connection with your child and increased guilt.
Action: Criticizing yourself.
Result: Decreased confidence and more stress.
Ultimately, our results reflect the thoughts we choose to focus on. When we reframe our thoughts to reflect God’s truth, the results in our lives begin to change—bringing us closer to the peace and joy God desires for us.

Our results often reinforce the patterns of thinking and feeling that created them, forming a cycle that can either build us up or drag us down. By addressing the root—our thoughts—we can change the trajectory of this cycle. When we reframe our thoughts to reflect God’s truth, the results in our lives begin to shift.

This doesn’t mean everything becomes perfect or that challenges disappear, but it does mean we approach life with greater peace, clarity, and hope. For example, choosing to think, ‘I can handle this moment with God’s grace’ instead of ‘I can’t do this’ leads to calmer interactions with your child, stronger relationships, and more confidence in your vocation. Over time, these small but intentional shifts create a ripple effect of grace, transforming not only your daily life but also how you experience your role as a mother and a disciple of Christ.

Why the Marian Mindset Matters

As Catholic moms, we are called to sanctify our daily lives and embrace the challenges of motherhood as pathways to holiness. The Marian Mindset Model equips us to do just that by helping us:
          + Take every thought captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
          + Renew our minds and transform our hearts (Romans 12:2).
          + Respond to life’s challenges with the same trust and humility that Mary modeled.

Ready to Begin?

Mindset work isn’t just a trendy buzzword—it’s a powerful tool rooted in Scripture, Church tradition, and Mary’s example. By embracing the Marian Mindset Model, you can align your thoughts, feelings, and actions with God’s will and create a life that reflects His peace and purpose.
Want to take the first step? Download our free Daily Peace Checklist. IIt walks you through simple practical tools to help you start aligning your thoughts with God’s truth. Let’s start this journey together!