You know you should pray… so why is it so hard to actually do it?

If prayer feels like a struggle, you’re not broken. You’re not lazy. And you’re definitely not alone.

Sometimes we imagine prayer should come naturally—like breathing. But for many of us, it feels more like trying to run a marathon on no sleep, with a toddler hanging off one leg and a grocery list running through our head.

The truth is, there are real, deeply human reasons that prayer feels hard.
And if we can name them? We can start to gently dismantle them—and let grace in.

Below are ten of the most common reasons Catholic women struggle with prayer—along with Scripture to ground you and practical mindset tools to help you find your way back.

No. 1: Mental Overload & Distraction

Whether you’ve got little (or big!) kids running around or you have a heart full of spiritual children, our lives are b-u-s-y. There is always somewhere to be, someone to feed, someone to meet, someone who needs to be dropped off or picked up. On and on. And that is just the busyness of your body. 

Your brain is constantly juggling things too: meals, messes, school schedules, emotional meltdowns, that one random thing you need from the store…

So when you sit down to pray, your mind doesn’t suddenly switch off. Instead, the to-do list floods in. Even when our hearts want to pray, sometimes it feels impossible to shut off the noise in your brain. 

What scripture says: “You keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” — Isaiah 26:3

How to combat it: Don’t fight the distractions—pray through them. Instead of trying to “clear your mind,” turn your thoughts into conversation with God. “Lord, I’m thinking about that appointment—help me entrust it to You.” “This laundry reminds me to serve with love. Be with me here.” You could also try keeping a prayer journal beside you. When a task or distraction comes up, jot it down and say, “Jesus, I give this to You.” Then return to prayer.

No. 2: Unhealed Disappointment or Spiritual Wounds

Sometimes prayer feels hard because we don’t really want to talk to God that much. When we lift our eyes up and begin to pray, resentment and grief sometimes pour in. And instead of a conversation with The One Who Love Us, it can turn into an interrogation. 

• “Why didn’t You answer that prayer?”
• “Why did that thing happen to me (or my child)?”
• “Why does everyone else seem to hear from You but me?”
  

That unspoken hurt can create a subtle resistance: prayer reminds us of unanswered questions.

What scripture says: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

How to combat it: Name the wound—and bring it with you to prayer. Your honesty doesn’t scare God. Your anger is welcome. Our amazing theological editor, Emily, always says, “You can be mad at God but you have to tell Him about it.” Try this prayer: “Jesus, I don’t understand this. I’m still hurting. But I invite You into the ache.” 

No. 3: Performance Pressure

Have you ever tried to pray and you have no clue what to say? One of the most common reasons that happens is because we believe there is a right way to pray. We feel there is a specific way to approach God, specific things we’re supposed to do. And we end up treating prayer like a performance instead of a relationship. When we can’t do it “perfectly,” we don’t do it at all.

What scripture says: “When you pray, do not heap up empty phrases… for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” — Matthew 6:7–8

How to combat it: Keep this mantra in your mind: “Prayer is about presence, not performance.” God loves you so big. You are His favorite person to talk to. And He wants all of you. So practice being with Him all the time. Throughout the day, frequently say these one-word prayers and build up the habit of praying without ceasing (and without the “perfect” words): 

“Lord, have mercy.”
“Come, Holy Spirit.”
“Thank You, Jesus.”

“Jesus, I surrender myself to you.”

“Lord, you have my yes.”

No. 4: Shame and Guilt

If it’s been a while since you’ve prayed or you don’t pray as often as you feel you should, you might avoid it because you feel like God is disappointed in you. And that cycle stretches—the longer the gap, the harder it feels to return. It can feel like calling a friend you haven’t talked to in a year even though you’ve been meaning to for months. But God’s not standing there tapping His foot. He’s the Father running toward you.

What scripture says: “He will again have compassion upon us; he will tread our iniquities under foot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:19

How to combat it: Remember the story of the prodigal son? Imagine that reunion but x100,000. God wants to hear from you. Start simply, “Lord forgive me. I’m here. In Your mercy, let’s begin again.” It gets to be easy. 

No. 5: Uncertainty Around How to Pray

Many women were never really taught how to pray in a personal, sustaining way. You might wonder: Should I talk or listen? Should I use rote prayers or just speak from the heart? Is journaling prayer? Is breath prayer? Do I need to feel something for it to “count”? That uncertainty can make prayer feel foreign or fake.

What scripture says: “We do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.” — Romans 8:26

How to combat it: You don’t need to master prayer. The most important part is that you show up. The Holy Spirit and the grace of God fill in all the gaps. This week, pick just one method (lectio, journaling, vocal prayer) and repeat it. Don’t worry about any of the other details. 

No. 6: Physical Exhaustion

When your body is drained, your brain fuzzy, and your soul stretched thin—it’s hard to do anything, let alone pray. Fatigue (especially postpartum, perimenopausal, or adrenal fatigue) makes even the simplest acts feel like too much. Prayer becomes just one more thing.

What scripture says: “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

How to combat it: We pray to a God who does big things with small offers (loaves and fishes, anyone?). He honors your smallest offering. So try a breath prayer as you rest your body:

Inhale: “Come, Holy Spirit.”
Exhale: “I trust in you.”

No. 7: Unrealistic Expectations

We often expect prayer to fix something—our mood, our circumstances, our stress. So if nothing instantly changes, we can feel:

• “Maybe I didn’t do it right.”
• “Maybe God didn’t listen.”
• “What’s the point?”
  

But prayer isn’t a vending machine—it’s a posture of love and relationship, even when it’s dry or feels one-sided.

What scripture says: “But as for me, I will look to the Lord, I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.” — Micah 7:7

How to combat it: Prayer isn’t about getting something—it’s about being with God. And He is always working and always attentive, even when we can’t see it. Try ending your day with this reflection: “Where did I notice God today?” Write it down—even if it’s subtle and slowly you will start to see His hand in everything.

No. 8 Fear of What God Might Say (or Not Say)

Deep down, we sometimes fear that if we’re truly honest in prayer and surrendered, we might:

• Hear a hard truth we are afraid to face
• Feel convicted to give up something dear to us
• Be reminded of a painful memory
• Or… hear nothing at all
  

So we stay busy. Because we know that our lives in Christ will involve, in some measure, suffering and trials. And it’s hard to take that to a God who has the power to grant all our wishes and sometimes doesn’t. 

What scripture says: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” — Isaiah 43:1

How to combat it: You need not fear a Father who loves you more than you love yourself. Yes, He may ask hard things. But He never allows a wound without the promise of healing. He may ask you to let go, but never without offering something better in Him. When you fear what He might say—or might not say—remember: Jesus is gentle with the fearful. He met Thomas in doubt. He met Peter in shame. He will meet you, too. If you’re afraid to hear God’s voice, start by praying with your ears, not your mouth. Sit in silence and say: “Lord, I’m afraid of what You might say. But I trust that you keep your promises and will all things for my ultimate good and your ultimate glory.”

No. 9: Prayer Reveals Our Vulnerability

Real prayer requires honesty. And sometimes we don’t want to face:

• Our fear
• Our sin
• Our needs
• Our wounds

So we avoid prayer not because we don’t care—but because it touches too close to the core.

What scripture says: “You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.” — Psalm 51:6

How to combat it: You don’t have to hide your weakness. Prayer is where healing begins. Let God love the real you—not your polished version. Try journaling your rawest truth: “Here’s what I’m afraid to say out loud…” Then write: “Come into this, Lord. I’m not hiding anymore.”

If any of these hit home, take a deep breath.

You don’t need a perfect plan, perfect setting, or perfect mindset to pray.
You just need a willing heart—and the courage to show up, even messily.

God is not waiting for you to get it all right. He’s simply waiting for you.

And if you’re ready to go deeper—but need guidance, encouragement, and practical support—we’ve got something special planned just for you. Stay tuned for details!