If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking…
“I’ll pray more when life settles down.”
Or…
“I don’t have enough time/”
Or…
“I always quit.”

I want to issue a (gentle!) challenge: What if the greatest obstacle in your spiritual life isn’t actually your schedule, your circumstances, or even your lack of discipline? What if it isn’t your kids or this season of life?

What if it’s actually the thoughts you’ve practiced believing?

Hannah and I recently surveyed hundreds of Catholic women. They came from every walk of life—young and old, single and married, mothers of one child and mothers of twelve, grandmothers, women discerning religious life, and women longing for motherhood. (Thank you, by the way, if you filled it out. We’re so grateful!)

And what was amazing… Despite these women having all different walks of life, the exact same beliefs came up over and over again. Isn’t that strange? We each tend to believe we’re carrying a uniquely hopeless struggle—as if everyone else has somehow cracked the code while we’re the exception. Then you start talking honestly with other women and discover… They’re thinking the exact same thing. And if I’m being completely honest, I’ve believed every one of those lies myself. (Hannah says, “Ditto!”)

The beautiful news is that our thoughts are not our identity, and they aren’t always the truth. Actually, many of the beliefs that keep us stuck are simply stories we’ve rehearsed for so long that they’ve begun to feel like facts. Thankfully, Scripture has something to say about this. St. Paul writes in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”

Notice how the instructions aren’t to “start doing better” or “stop being inconsistent, lazy, or a ‘bad Catholic’”. God invites us to renew the way we think so that our lives can be transformed. He asks us to measure what we think against His truth. And every lasting change begins by replacing a lie with the truth. So let’s look at three common lies that keep Catholic women stuck and the truths that God wants to speak in their place.

Lie #1: “This Just Isn’t My Season”

Let me just start by saying, this one came up a lot in our survey. And it is an easy one to believe. I was talking to a first-time mom recently who took her six-month-old baby to Adoration. They stayed for six minutes because the sweet baby kept blowing raspberries and the mom felt self-conscious. It’s always something. We miss half of mass in the cry room or feel like we missed half of mass trying to get the kids to be still and stay quiet. We’re busy with work or school or sports or the general chaos of feeding people and summoning the courage to, once again, attack the laundry pile monster. 

So we start to tell ourselves:

“I’ll pray more when the kids are older.”
“I’ll start studying Scripture when life settles down.”
“I’ll focus on my spiritual life when things aren’t so chaotic.”

It sounds so reasonable. And some seasons really are more challenging than others. Chronic illness, grief, caring for a newborn, a demanding job, aging parents, financial stress—these aren’t imaginary obstacles. They genuinely make every other piece of life feel more challenging. 

But underneath these thoughts is the belief: The ideal Christian life happens under ideal conditions.

And the problem is that this belief puts our spiritual growth on hold until our circumstances (which we often can’t control!) change. It teaches us that peace, holiness, and intimacy with God are waiting for us somewhere in the future… after life becomes more manageable.

But that’s not how God works.

There is a phenomenal quote by Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade in his book, Abandonment to Divine Providence. He writes, “If we have abandoned ourselves to God, there is only one rule for us: the duty of the present moment.”

In other words, if we abandoned ourselves to God, if we truly gave Him absolutely everything, if we scooped up all our cares and worries and hopes and dumped them into His open arms, our only job would be to stay attentive to Him and His will in this present moment. And I promise you, His will is not, “Wait six more months to open your Bible when things ‘calm down’.”

And actually, the Trinity is kinda famous for interrupting people while they’re busy. Jesus showed up at the workplaces of most of the disciples. James and John were quite literally mending their nets. Samuel was trying to sleep. Moses and David were both shepherding. God didn’t even wait for Jeremiah to be born before calling him. And Mary was living a quiet life in Nazareth. God isn’t waiting for our season to change. He is the God of the present moment. 

Satan, on the other hand, would love for us to wait. He would love for every Catholic mother and spiritual mother to believe that holiness can wait. Tomorrow is one of his favorite words.

But our Lord says something different. He says, “Come to me, all who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) Come now. I will go with you. You are not alone. Come to Me.

We are not called to get ourselves in order before we come to Jesus. We’re called to bring this season to Him. Because He isn’t waiting for a future version of your life. He’s waiting for you.

Truth for Today: 

Holiness isn’t waiting in your next season. God is inviting you to become holy in this one. 

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…
(Matthew 6:33)

The next time you catch yourself thinking something along the lines of:

“When life settles down…”

Pause and ask instead:

“How is God inviting me to meet Him today?”

Lie #2: “I don’t have enough time.”

This lie feels especially convincing. Our culture constantly tells us that busyness is a badge of honor. And, at the same time, Instagram and Pinterest make us believe that real spiritual growth belongs to women with quiet mornings, aesthetic prayer corners, and perfectly planned routines. It’s no wonder so many of us quietly conclude, “Maybe someday… but not right now.” 

Then life keeps happening. It is so easy to believe “I just don’t have enough time.” And, sure, sometimes that’s objectively true. Life IS genuinely full. I’ve lost count of how many women have told us, “I just don’t have an hour.” And that might be true in many ways. But often beneath those words “I don’t have enough time” is the belief: Serious spiritual growth requires a lot of uninterrupted time. That our relationship with God somehow “counts” more if we spend an hour with Him instead of ten minutes.

Let’s challenge that thought, though. One of the themes running throughout Scripture is that God delights in working through what seems small. A mustard seed becomes a great tree. Five loaves feed thousands. A widow’s two coins become the greatest gift. A shepherd boy defeats a giant. A teenage girl from Nazareth becomes the Mother of God. Again and again, God takes what seems small, ordinary, or insufficient and fills it with His grace.

Why would we assume He cannot do the same with ten faithful minutes in His presence? Our God has always delighted in multiplying small acts of faithfulness into something far greater than we could imagine.

Satan says, “Hey look, if you don’t have a full holy hour, don’t bother.”

God says, Trust in Me at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Me; I am a refuge for you. (Psalm 62:8) 

At all times! In the long, quiet hours and in the tiny breath prayers. In the Adoration chapel and in the school pickup line. While rocking a baby to sleep and while washing dishes. Ten minutes offered with love is never “too small” for the God of wild abundance.

Truth for Today:

People make time for what they’ve decided is essential. That truth is not meant to produce guilt but to bring clarity. We don’t question whether we’ll feed our children, brush our teeth, or charge our phones. We’ve already decided subconsciously that those things matter. The question is not whether you have enough time. The question is whether you’ve decided your relationship with God belongs in that same category.

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; one thing is needful.” (Luke 10:41-42)

Jesus was not condemning Martha’s work at all but reminding her that our relationship with Him isn’t one more thing to squeeze into an already full life. It’s the very thing that gives meaning to everything else.

The next time you catch yourself saying,

“I don’t have enough time…”

Pause and ask yourself:

“Have I decided this is essential or optional?”

Lie #3: “I’m behind.”

This might be the most common lie of all. Women especially are targeted with messaging all the time about where and what we should be.

“You’re 30 and not married yet?”

“You’re married and don’t have kids yet?”

“Only one child?”

“Five kids? Wow, you’ve got your hands full.”

“You’re homeschooling?”

“You’re not homeschooling?”

“You’re still working?”

“You quit your job?”

It’s enough to make you crazy! Nevermind that the goalpost for women is constantly moving so you can’t ever be “caught up” (whatever that even means). And it’s easy for us to transfer our feelings of being behind to our spiritual lives:

“I should know more Scripture by now.”

“I should pray better by now.”

“I should have overcome this sin by now.”

“Other women seem so much farther along.”

But it begs the question… who are we behind? 

Last I checked, God didn’t hand out a spiritual leaderboard (no, genealogies don’t count). So, instead of focusing on our own relationship with God, we begin speculating about someone else’s based on the tiny glimpse we get of it.

She probably never falls asleep halfway through her bedtime rosary. Honestly, she probably says her rosary while the sun is still up. She probably also levitates during Adoration.

Before long, we’re no longer comparing ourselves to a real person. We’re comparing ourselves to a version of her we’ve invented… and wondering why we can’t measure up. Instead of fixing our eyes on Jesus, we become preoccupied with everyone else’s journey. Suddenly, the spiritual life starts to feel like a race.

We imagine God keeping spreadsheets of our spiritual accomplishments, comparing our progress to everyone else’s, and shaking His head because we haven’t checked enough boxes. (Lots of theological issues with this picture of God, but chief among them: the idea that Excel made it into heaven.)

But that’s not how a father loves his children. A good father doesn’t spend his days comparing one child to another or keeping a running tally of who is “ahead.” He delights in each child, meets each one where they are, and patiently helps them take the next step. If our earthly fathers, imperfect as they are, can love like that, how much more does our heavenly Father, who is Love itself?

Truth for Today:

There is no “behind” in the spiritual life. There is only today’s invitation to follow Jesus.

We see this beautifully at the end of John’s Gospel. Jesus has just restored Peter after his threefold denial and tells him what his future discipleship will require. Instead of simply receiving Jesus’ invitation, Peter glances over at John and asks, “Lord, what about him?” (John 21:21).

Isn’t that just like us?

Jesus has invited us to follow Him, but we can’t help wondering how everyone else is doing. Is she farther along? Is she holier than I am? Why does her life seem easier?

Jesus’ response to Peter is wonderfully freeing: “…what is that to you? Follow me.” (John 21:22)

Not,

“Catch up.”

Not,

“Compare yourself.”

Simply: “Follow Me.”

Every time comparison sneaks in, remind yourself:

“I’m exactly where God’s grace can meet me today.”

The Truth That Changes Everything

Looking back on these three lies, I realized they all point to the same deeper fear: “I’m not the kind of woman who can grow spiritually.”

Let’s slow down for a minute and examine that thought. If you truly believed, “I’m not the kind of woman who can grow spiritually,” how would you feel?

Discouraged?
Defeated?
Hopeless?
Ashamed?

And when we feel that way, what do we tend to do?

We procrastinate.
We stop praying.
We avoid opening Scripture.
We scroll instead.
We tell ourselves we’ll start tomorrow.

Ironically, the very thought that tells us we can’t grow is the thought that keeps us from growing.

Now compare that to a different thought: “God is patiently transforming me one faithful step at a time.”

How does that feel?

Hopeful.
Peaceful.
Encouraged.

And what do hopeful women do?

They open their Bible for ten minutes.
They whisper a quick prayer while folding laundry.
They go to confession again.
They try again tomorrow.

This is why learning to challenge our thoughts matters so much. Not every thought that enters your mind deserves your agreement. Some thoughts are invitations from the Holy Spirit. Others are lies that quietly pull us away from God. Our job isn’t to believe every thought we think—it’s to hold each one up to the light of God’s truth.

The next time you catch yourself thinking, “I’m behind,” “I don’t have enough time,” or “This just isn’t my season,” pause before accepting it as fact. Ask yourself, “Does this sound like something my Father would say to me?” Then open His Word. Listen to His voice. Because the more we replace the enemy’s lies with God’s truth, the more our minds are renewed—and slowly, faithfully, our lives begin to change.