A scriptural journey to discovering your identity as the Bride of Christ

One of the greatest lessons I ever learned came from observing a catechist teach an 8th grade class. He had brought a strange instrument (I knew it was from his work in a chemistry lab; the kids knew nothing) and asked them to identify it. He said they were allowed to confer with anyone in the room about it, but at the end, they had to give a guess. No one knew what it was. Honestly? I heard his explanation and still don’t know what that contraption was or what it did.

The lesson, though, I’ve never forgotten. There was exactly one person in that room who knew what that thing was and what it did. As the kids talked it over with each other, no one thought to go ask the teacher. He stood at the front of the room, observing as they chatted. He patiently listened to all their wrong answers. Then he asked them, “Why didn’t you consult the expert?”

The point is, God is the expert of all things, including us. So as we flail around in life, desperately trying to find our identity and purpose, why don’t we go to Him? Today, then, I challenge us. Let’s go to God, our expert, and ask Him who we are.

I’ll spoil the ending: we were made to be loved by God. That’s it. In both Scripture and Tradition, God consistently reveals His love for us in spousal terms—not merely metaphorical, but deeply incarnational and covenantal. To call God a “spouse” might seem strange at first, but this is the language He Himself uses. The prophets speak of Israel as God’s bride, sometimes faithful, sometimes not. Jesus refers to Himself as the Bridegroom. And the Church is His Bride, purified and made holy by His sacrifice on the Cross. This is no romanticized metaphor—it is a mystery that defines our deepest identity.

So, here are 15 verses to help us pray with the spousal love of God.

God knows you—go to the expert

Genesis 1:26-27 And he said: “Let us make Man to our image and likeness…And God created man to his own image; to the image of God he created him; male and female, he created them.

God is a communion of persons – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit continually sharing love for each other. To be made in the image of God is to be made for that community, that unending pouring out of love. We were made to be loved. And our greatest lover will always be Love Himself, our Creator.

He will never stop loving you

The Old Testament is full of this marital analogy – God as the faithful spouse of Israel. Hosea is the story of a prophet who was called by God to marry a prostitute. The way Hosea is faithful to his adulterous wife is reflective of the way God never stops loving Israel (us), no matter how many times she runs away.

Hosea 2:16-17, 20  And it will be in that day,” says the Lord, “that she will call me, ‘My Husband,’ and she will no longer call me, ‘My Baal.’ And I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and she will no longer remember their name. And I will wed you to me in faith, and you will know that I am the Lord.

A bride seeking her beloved

Like Hosea, the Song of Songs was written to reflect God’s love for his people. The Song of Songs is written as a conversation between a bride and a groom, and all of it is a beautiful expression of perfect love. Take, for example, the way the bride seeks her lover:

Song of Songs 3:1-4 On my bed, throughout the night, I sought him whom my soul loves. I sought him, and did not find him. I will rise up, and I will circle through the city. Through the side streets and thoroughfares, I will seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him, and did not find him. The watchers who guard the city found me: “Have you seen him whom my soul loves?” When I had passed by them a little, I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not release him, until I would bring him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her who bore me.

The beauty the bridegroom sees in you

And later in the same book, the many ways the groom speaks about his bride:

Song of Songs 2:14-17 The flowers have appeared in our land; the time for pruning has arrived. The voice of the turtledove has been heard in our land. The fig tree has brought forth its green figs; the flowering vines bestow their odor. Rise up, my love, my brilliant one, and advance. My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hollows of the wall, reveal to me your face. Let your voice sound in my ears. For your voice is sweet, and your face is graceful.

Song of Songs 4:7 You are totally beautiful, my love, and there is no blemish in you.

Song of Songs 4:9-10 You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride; you have ravished my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one bead of your necklace. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride, How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfumes than any spice! (NABRE translation)

Made to give and receive love

God, in His goodness, loves us as a spouse. The Old Testament reflects that, but even the natural world reveals it. Our bodies, male and female, show us how we were made to give and receive love. God, in His great goodness, proves our purpose to us using our very selves. This is why we hold up marriage as a sacrament.

Genesis 2:24-25 For this reason, a man shall leave behind his father and mother, and he shall cling to his wife; and the two shall be as one flesh. Now they were both naked: Adam, of course, and his wife. And they were not ashamed.

God created man and woman to be a visible sign of not only his love for us but also of the communion of persons that is the Trinity, pouring love into each other. This is the basis of St. John Paul II’s theology of the body. God loves humanity the way that a husband loves his bride. Genesis 2:24-25 gives us a glimpse of God’s original intention for marriage, a perfect mirror of his love for us. A man, totally devoted to his wife – so devoted that they can be said to be of the same flesh. And the two of them together, completely unhidden and completely unashamed.

Seen, known, loved

This idea of being unhidden and unashamed, totally seen and totally loved. That radical, seeing love is meant to ravish our hearts. St. John, in his gospel, alludes to it in two conversion stories: Nathanael and the woman at the well.

John 1:48-49 Nathanael said to him, “From where do you know me?” Jesus responded and said to him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathanael answered him and said: “Rabbi, you are the Son of God. You are the King of Israel.”

John 4:28-29 And so the woman left behind her water jar and went into the city. And she said to the men there: “Come and see a man who has told me all the things that I have done. Is he not the Christ?”

Nathanael, who was – to say the least – incredulous about Jesus’ identity, suddenly realizes that Jesus has seen him, perhaps in a way that no one else has. Jesus wasn’t physically present when Nathanael was under the tree, but Jesus saw him nonetheless.

The woman at the well (traditionally named St. Photina), has a more exposed story. Jesus knows her sinful past. This woman, coming to the well late in the day to avoid the judgy eyes of others, is suddenly fully exposed to this man, this stranger. But what does he do? He loves her so deeply that she converts on the spot. She knows in her heart that he is the Christ.

Love that heals what was lost in the garden

We all know the story of the Fall. Adam and Eve, who were living in perfect union with God and receiving his spousal love, chose to be masters of their own lives and disobeyed. Suddenly they felt the need to hide, and they were separated from God forever. Thankfully, God didn’t leave us in that broken reality, destined to spend eternity away from His Love.

John 3:14-17 Just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so also must the Son of man be lifted up, so that whoever believes in him may not perish, but may have eternal life. For God so loved the world that he gave his only-begotten Son, so that all who believe in him may not perish, but may have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world, in order to judge the world, but in order that the world may be saved through him.

This fact ought to shake us to our core. God loves us so much that he did not desire for us to be away from him forever, so he sent his only son to come and die for us, that we may have the chance to return to him and live in that love.

Love that sanctifies and transforms

The New Testament writers were deeply in tune with this reality. They saw the love of God, even were able to recognize its (now imperfect) reflection in the love between spouses, and saw the life-altering truth of what Jesus did for us. In fact, St. Paul explains it in detail in the letter to the Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:23-27 For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church. He is the Savior of his body. Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so also should wives be subject to their husbands in all things. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and handed himself over for her, so that he might sanctify her, washing her clean by water and the Word of life, so that he might offer her to himself as a glorious Church, not having any spot or wrinkle or any such thing, so that she would be holy and immaculate.

And again:

Ephesians 5:31-32 “For this reason, a man shall leave behind his father and mother, and he shall cling to his wife; and the two shall be as one flesh.” This is a great Sacrament. And I am speaking in Christ and in the Church.”

The great sacrament of love

What is that great sacrament? It is the Eucharist, the place where we come before the body of our spouse, given for us.

1 Corinthians 11:24 “and giving thanks, he broke it, and said: “Take and eat. This is my body, which shall be given up for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

The Eucharist is the greatest gift God could give us. The second person of the trinity became man so that he could give us his body. There is no more perfect spousal love than what is displayed in that great sacrament of the altar. We are called to receive him who loves us, to allow his body into ours, so that we may become one flesh.

The wedding feast to come

The Eucharist is not only the sign of Christ’s love—it is a foretaste of Heaven. Scripture tells us that all of history is leading to a great wedding: the union of Christ the Bridegroom and His Church, the Bride. This love we receive here and now is just the beginning of a love that will never end.

Revelation 19:7–9: “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready… Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.”

Heaven is the eternal wedding feast. When we receive Jesus in the Eucharist, we are already participating in the joy of that eternal union. Let us prepare our hearts like a bride prepares for her wedding day—clothed in grace, made ready through love. This isn’t just a future hope—it’s a truth that begins now, in our own hearts and lives.

It is in God, in His Word, and in His Body, that we find our identity. We no longer need to look to outside sources to define who we are. We must recognize ourselves as God’s beloved, the one whom Jesus loves. As we pray through these verses, we ask God to open our hearts, to speak His Truth into us. I encourage you to take time over the next couple of weeks and contemplate some of these verses one-by-one. Pick one to write out and tape to your mirror; recite it to yourself while doing chores; make it your family’s memory verse for the week. Allow the Truth to seep into you – you are loved, truly loved, by the One who made you.

Mary, the perfectly loved bride

In closing, we look to the only one who lived this perfectly in her life. Mary, sometimes referred to as the spouse of the Holy Spirit, received and returned perfect love to God. Let her prayer be ours.

Luke 1:46-49 And Mary said: “My soul magnifies the Lord. And my spirit leaps for joy in God my Savior. For he has looked with favor on the humility of his handmaid. For behold, from this time, all generations shall call me blessed. For he who is great has done great things for me, and holy is his name.

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You were made to be loved, and that love changes everything.

If you’re ready to stop measuring yourself by what you do, how you look, or how well you’re “balancing it all”—and instead live from the truth of who you are in God—we’d love to invite you on a personal retreat.

Who You Say I Am is a five-day, at-home, audio retreat designed just for Catholic moms and spiritual mothers like you. You’ll walk through powerful, grace-filled reflections that help you quiet the noise, root yourself in Scripture, and rediscover who you truly are: deeply seen, known, and loved.

It’s simple. It’s peaceful. And it’s entirely on your schedule.